Canada

“Do You Hear What I Hear” to be banned from radio play due to taunting of deaf and blind people.

By
Brandon De Aguiar
on
December 6, 2018

Last week it was decided that “Baby it’s Cold Outside” was to be banned from being played on the radio. Song analysts have determined the song promotes rape culture and should not be played in this day and age. Prime Minister Justin Trudeau was so moved by this that he decided that he would look over other songs that could potentially trigger people.


Going through his Zune, Justin Trudeau found some other winter-related songs to ban from ever being played on Canadian radio networks. One of the songs that stuck out to him was the Christmas song, “Do You Hear What I Hear.”


“Now some of you might think this song is just asking an innocent question, but our crack team down in the Trudeau Lab found out these fuckers are actually just taunting them.”


“It seems as though the person is actually just boasting about having the ability to see and hear cool stuff. Why else would they be describing the objects they can see or hear? I don’t need little fucking Suzie to describe what I can already see and hear if that was the case.”


“I used to think my grandpa was weeping at my Christmas concerts because he was so moved by my voice, but I now realize he actually felt bullied because he could not relate to the song and now my heart physically aches. We here at the Trudeau Lab will continue to find more songs that could trigger people and potentially hurt them."


Here are a few other songs that will be banned in Canada.

  

  • Wham!'s "Last Christmas," because two years ago it truly was George Michael's 'Last Christmas.'
  • Michael Buble's "Santa Claus is Coming to Town," which promotes old men with crusty beards going out with the knowledge of when and where young children are sleeping.
  • Bing Crosby's "White Christmas,"  ... enough of this white pride bullshit!
  • Luther Vandross' "This is Christmas," simply because Luther demands that “This is Christmas” ... kind of like a Spartan? But fails to realize it could be Hanukkah or Kwanzaa or Hakuna Matata! Exclusivity bullshit.



The Hatchet News Team then asked Trudeau about the song “Excitable Boy” by Warren Zevon, which may not be a Christmas song, but he does sing about raping and killing a girl in way too happy a manner.


Trudeau just had to say “Excitable who?”.





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