Local

Highly Educated Man in T.A.N. Coffee Shop Struggles to Remember if His Daughter’s Name is Kirsten or Kiersten

By
Alex McKaigue
on
January 23, 2019

“All I know is, is that my friend, Steve, told me it’s too late to ask”, stated the man when probed on the name of his youngest daughter.  “She already has a kid of her own now, too, man, how time flies, you know. He’s my pride and joy, his name is Kyzle”. For readers at home, the “z” is silent. “I’m just living the dream.”


Steve is the local man’s professed “only friend”, though there have been reports from credible source which suggests that he regularly meets with other men his age on other days of the week at the same time but Thursdays instead of Tuesdays since his retirement. If described in a police report, the men he meets would all fit the same description even if hard pressed for more adjectives: Caucasian, balding, wearing plastic reading glasses that clip in the middle with a magnet around their neck that did not come from the Dollar Store.  If Steve was aware of the man’s other morning meetings he would be very upset, to the point where, it would surprise Steve how it much it unsettles him.


Steve understands the local man. He orders his Americano for him if he’s running late so that it’s ready before he arrives, but not too early so that it has cooled off - just right, just how the local man likes it.  He knows when he is playing the devil’s advocate and when he is being himself (a fine line). He even visited him in the hospital after he recovered from the compressed nerve in his neck caused from the repeated motion of head shaking when reading the newspaper in the morning. To say the least, this information would be devastating to Steve.


Steve also knows that the local man’s daughter’s name is Kristen but won’t tell him or else he will feel unneeded.

Latest Entries

Canada

Orthodontists Go on Strike as Number of People Rolling Up Rims with Bottom Teeth Reaches All-Time High

Local

What Does the Ath Do- Like, Really Do?

Local

The Hatchet Voted in to be Student President 2019

LATEST VIDEOS

HOROSCOPES

Pisces

Check out horoscope playlists on Spotify

Gemini

Check out horoscope playlists on Apple Music

Capricorn

Check out horoscope playlists on Spotify

Click For More

LATEST POLL

What should Wolfville's new name be?

Thank you! Your submission has been received!
Oops! Something went wrong while submitting the form.