Local

The Hatchet Buried?

By
Adrian Filice
on
September 30, 2018

Wolfville, NS – On Saturday September 15, a focus group was held in a secret location by the heads of Axe Radio to decide on a name for their new newspaper. At the top of the list is the name “The Hatchet.” Followed by plenty of other suggestions such as “Not the Onion,” “The Good Ath,” and “Dead Medium 2.”


Naturally there was much disagreement and controversy over the name “The Hatchet” as Acadia is a liberal arts school so no student is permitted to withhold their opinion.


“I personally don’t get it,” said one first year student, “why does it have to be so random? What’s a hatchet anyway? We’re not called The Hatchetmen and Hatchetwomen? It should just be called The Axe!” The heads of Axe Radio tried desperately to inform the student of the name of the on campus bar to which they only replied “Vil or bust!”


“I agree I would prefer something more simple and fun! No one will remember ‘The Hatchet,’ it’s convoluted,” another student offered, “it should be something quick and catchy. It should be less pretentious and easy to spell, just like The Athenaeum!” This input was quickly ignored and the student was escorted outside.

“Who cares? I don’t even know how to read!” exclaimed a Kinesiology student whose identity will remain anonymous. A reliable source has reported that this student holds a 4.0 GPA.


A member of the Ath decided to weigh in as well. “I don’t see why there needs to be another newspaper at all. The Ath is funny, we do funny things. Did you see the Sex Issue? There were naked people on it! That’s funny! We’re funny!”


When asked for comment, Acadia president had this to say: “What the fuck is a hatchet?”

Please note that articles written on this site are for entertainment and satirical purposes only. They are not to be taken seriously or to be cited as a legitimate source of news. This article may contain quotes inserted by the author; let it be known that none of these things were really said and any relation to persons real or fictious is purely coincidental.

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