Local

What Does The ASU Do- Like, Really Do?

By
Coleman Merry
on
January 28, 2019

The ASU elections are only getting closer and you may find yourself asking pressing questions like, “What the hell?” “Who are these people?” and “Why am I expected to care about any of this?” Well lucky for you, The Hatchet is on your side and ready to explain to you these jobs that get paid thousands of dollars a year- all so you can make an informed decision on who to vote for.

President

So, if I had to guess I would say that this position is kind of like the “mom” or the “dad” of the Student Union. The president gets to tell all the other members of the ASU when their bedtimes are but also has to wake them up and make sure they get to school on time. If any of you guys know who Donald Trump is, being the president of the ASU is sort of like being the Donald Trump of Acadia. Pretty sick, right?

VP Academic & External

This position is broken down into two parts, hence the two words in its name. First word: Academic. Being in charge of academics means this person has to supply everyone with notes when they miss class because they’re hungover. Second word: External. Acadia has a pretty big campus and most of it is outside (i.e - the external of buildings), if you’re ever outside and you get nervous (maybe because you saw a scary bird, or if it’s too icy out) you can give this person a call and they’ll come to you and calm you down and ensure everything okay.


VP Events & Promotions

Everybody knows that events and promotions go hand in hand. No one will come to your event if you don’t promote it, and if you don’t have an event you won’t have anything to promote. This is a very important position, many of the duties include making sure to plan major concerts on Sundays, changing Cheaton to a Wednesday, and inviting me to trivia on Facebook every week, even though I never go.

VP Finance & Operations

This job is pretty sick because the whole point of it is to try and steal as much money as you can from the Student Union during your term. It kind of sucks for every single other person at the school, but if you manage to land this position it’s a pretty sweet gig. If you know someone that’s broke as hell and running for this position, toss them a vote so they can get some cash in their pockets.

VP Student Life

If you’re a student and you’re alive, this is a position that you should be concerned about. The person in this position is in charge of the lives of every student at Acadia, kind of like what a lifeguard does at a pool. If any students at Acadia die it is the direct responsibility of the VP Student Life, and they will be held liable. I also think this person might be my boss? I don’t know.

And that’s that folks! I hope this article has informed you on the inner-workings of our University’s Student Union. I encourage all of you to exercise your rights and never vote in any elections, ever.


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