Science

What’s with all the Buzz?

I’m sure you’ve heard all the buzz. Unlimited clean energy is right around the corner. In fact, scientists at the MIT Plasma Science & Fusion Center are steadily working towards making this a possibility. However, even though fusion reactions are happening right now in the core of our sun, man-made fusion is very challenging. The first obstacle for scientists and engineers is the crazy amounts of heat that are required to start the process. Now, I’m not saying that this is a sure-fire way to achieve this heat but in my personal experience things ALWAYS get hotter when ABBA plays past midnight. My suggestion is that all members of the team learn Dancing Queen, and all attempts at fusion reactions happen after midnight.

The second major challenge holding scientists back is how to maintain plasma long enough. Honestly, this is a head scratcher for me because I’ve created plasma in my microwave like 5 times at least… so scientists, what’s up? Finally, competition impedes scientists from being able to work together towards this landmark of human technological ability. Undoubtedly, all of this rivalry causes progress towards fusion to stagnate, and the world suffers as a result. However, I believe Canada offers an interesting solution to this problem. That’s why, as of October 17th, 2018, I believe all Fusion research should be undergone in Canada. After all, imagine those scientists passing around their research like many of us passing around …


Please note that articles written on this site are for entertainment and satirical purposes only. They are not to be taken seriously or to be cited as a legitimate source of news. This article may contain quotes inserted by the author; let it be known that none of these things were really said and any relation to persons real or fictious is purely coincidental.

Latest Entries

Local

Axe Radio Declares Independence

News

To Combat Rising Fentanyl Related Cocaine Overdoses, Government of Canada Decides to Stop Printing Money

Creative

Lizard Overlords of the World: Axe Radio Coordinators... Part 1