Opinions

Who wants to be a millionaire?

This just in! The coordinating staff of the hit show, Who wants to be a millionaire, has had to review its application process after a sudden influx of close to 3500 applicants every week. Upon reviewing applications, it was discovered that most applicants were between the ages of 17-24 years old. Interestingly, these applicants are all from a concentrated area in a small Nova Scotian town called Wolfville. We reached out to an analyst to help pin down just where and why this sudden rise happened. This is what they had to say “It seems as if this age demographic has had a sudden increase in the cost of living per year. Unsurprisingly, this age demographic already struggles to earn money so this unexpected increase has led them to take drastic measures”. Additionally, Wolfville’s leading economist had this to say “upon collecting data regarding the cost of living, most residents said it was simply an additional 3% increase beyond what they were expecting, this drove them to apply for any means of collecting money they could”. In fact, in a poll collected distributed by a local university in the area, it was found that nearly all students aged 17-24 opposed an additional 3% increase in tuition. Interestingly, the sudden rise in applicants coincided almost to the day that the tuition increase took effect. We reached out to a student that wished to remain anonymous for academic reasons who said, “I just don’t get it, we already pay one of the highest tuitions in the Maritimes”.  


Unfortunately, the staff of Who Wants to be a Millionaire indicated they had no intention of increasing the number of participants in every show. A senior coordinator who wished to remain anonymous had this to say to students, “My heart goes out to you. You guys already had it pretty tough and I don’t really see any merit to this additional 3%”. Additionally, they said “I would suggest trying to play the social justice card to see if there’s any way you can get extra money ...typically there are workarounds if you play the right cards.”


Please note that articles written on this site are for entertainment and satirical purposes only. They are not to be taken seriously or to be cited as a legitimate source of news. This article may contain quotes inserted by the author; let it be known that none of these things were really said and any relation to persons real or fictious is purely coincidental.

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