News

You WONT Believe Who This University Hired To Run It's Student Newspaper

By
Coleman Merry
on
October 11, 2018

Wolfville, NS -  Wow! On September 24th the ASU announced that they had appointed a new Editor in Chief for the Athenaeum, the university’s official newspaper. In an attempt to diversify the Internal Organisations of the Student Union, the Ath’s EIC for 2018/2019 school year will be a dog with a harmonica. Cool!

The dog isn’t even an actual student at the university, but the ASU saw him displaying his love for journalism on various online newspapers and decided to hire him anyway. I was honestly pretty disappointed when I found out that the do was one of those small dogs, I was kind of hoping it would be a German Shepherd or a Black Lab or something but it’s one of those little white dogs with droopy ears and black splotches. For the most part, the dog has been keeping to himself, but is still doing a wonderful job at making sure the newspaper is producing a broad range of high-quality content for the student body.

The dog always has a harmonica with him, in one of those around the neck holders that folk artists use. He doesn’t really ever play the harmonica, he just licks it sometimes when he gets excited, but that doesn’t make any sounds. One time he told me that he could play the harmonica part from Black Sabbath’s “The Wizard”, and although he does listen to a lot of Black Sabbath, I’ve never seen him do it. He also never calls it a harmonica and always insists on calling it a harp. He claims that this is a popular slang term among harmonica players, but he’s definitely the only person or dog I’ve ever heard say it.


It seems like this is going to be an excellent year for The Athenaeum, the dog has been working very hard both with the ASU and the other editors to ensure that the newspaper will be of the highest calibre since it began in 1874. He may even be the best Editor in Chief the paper has seen in its lifetime, possibly – nay - definitely better than Andrew Haskett and Sid Kondapuram combined.



Please note that articles written on this site are for entertainment and satirical purposes only. They are not to be taken seriously or to be cited as a legitimate source of news. This article may contain quotes inserted by the author; let it be known that none of these things were really said and any relation to persons real or fictious is purely coincidental.

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