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Acadia Spends $750,000 On New Sign and Uses Tuition Increase To Pay For it

Acadia University has recently come under fire for building a lavish new sign by the gym while increasing tuition in the past academic year. When The Hatchet...

BREAKING: Wolfville Smokestack Disappears, as HRM Officials Announce Plans for a 4th Stack to Dartmouth Waterfront

Residents of Wolfville woke up last week shocked to discover that Dartmouth officials had slowly, piece by piece, disassembled the iconic Wolfville smokestack...

Acadia Students Take Procrastibaking Too Far

Across the board, from students to writers, from doctors to politicians, people have centuries-long used baking to avoid real tasks...

Acadia Student Government gets Violent to Suppress Student Journalism

Daniel Robinson, Editor-in-Chief of the popular and totally legitimate news site, The Hatchet, had a troublesome day after Acadia’s student government found out...

Mud Creek Mayhem

This past week an anonymous local man spent hours in the waiting room of Mud Creek Medical before anyone would assist him with his four severed limbs....

Stress on Seminary

Tourism can be a ruthless and unpredictable industry in this world and the next. For all of you who only have five senses, Seminary House has been in a bit of hot...

ASU Not Catering to the Needs of Pirate Students

Many complaints have been received this week from a minority group of students who live their lives on the high seas. These students have made several claims...

Chopping dope in Wolfville: ‘The Hatchet News’ Interviews a Weed Dealer

With weed being legalized in Canada today many dealers are concerned about the impacts of legalization on their hard earned cash. Dealers have tried expanding....

Axe Radio Declares Independence

This morning Axe Radio’s social media went viral when Acadia’s number one Internal Organization made the biggest power move in history...

STFX Transfer Student Can’t Take the Crows

Acadia University has seen an influx of students transferring from alleged university, St. Francis Xavier. When asked about why they transferred, they gave a...

Library Pub Loses Profits over Curry Night Incident

A major tragedy at the Library Pub occurred on September 26th, 2018. The Hatchet News reached out to a former employee, Brandon De Aguiar, for comment...

The Hatchet Buried?

On Saturday September 15, a focus group was held in a secret location by the heads of Axe Radio to decide on a name for their new newspaper. At the top of the....

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Aries

In the near future you will meet someone who will have a major impact on your life. Too bad you’ll immediately ignore them and forget who they are.

Virgo

Virgo, your attention to the most minute details will get the best of you this finals season. Your trivial fixations will eventually make you go insane and your friends are going to have no choice but to check you into the nearest psych ward.

Leo

Just because others expect you to be the life of the party doesn’t mean you have to be. Sit in a corner and pout. Hopefully someone will have pity sex with you.

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