HOROSCOPES

The Hatchet News | Horoscope Image

Aquarius

Jan. 20-Feb. 18

It's time to get creative about the whole "dating" thing... Online dating/Tinder? Not for you... Blind dates? Nope! Standing outside someone's window with a boombox playing Peter Gabriel songs? Cheesy! Why don't you try writing a cryptic coded letter to the cutie eyeing you in the library? Try some runic symbols, go old school!

The Hatchet News | Horoscope Image

Pisces

Feb 19- March 20

… Better that you don’t know.

The Hatchet News | Horoscope Image

Aries

March 21-April 19

In the near future you will meet someone who will have a major impact on your life. Too bad you’ll immediately ignore them and forget who they are.

The Hatchet News | Horoscope Image

Taurus

April 20-May 20

Wow... the stars are NOT happy with you. Honestly... no one is.

The Hatchet News | Horoscope Image

Gemini

May 21-June 20

A person from your past might be holding you back from enjoying the present. Buy a knife. Free yourself.

The Hatchet News | Horoscope Image

Cancer

June 21-July 22

So.. we’ve all been talking, and.. well, I hate to be the one to tell you this .. but everyone thinks you’ve been a bit of a dick lately. Even that annoying person in your friend group that everyone pretends to like agrees. So, while the new moon will supposedly bring major change, we aren’t holding our breath.

The Hatchet News | Horoscope Image

Leo

July 23- Aug. 22

Just because others expect you to be the life of the party doesn’t mean you have to be. Sit in a corner and pout. Hopefully someone will have pity sex with you.

The Hatchet News | Horoscope Image

Libra

Sept. 23- Oct. 22

Not getting a clear reading from the stars.. here's the weather report for this week: Saturday and Sunday will be a mix of sun and cloud, with full sun on Monday and a light rain rolling in Tuesday. Wednesday we'll see more sun and cloud with a chance of snow, heading into mainly sun on Thursday and Friday.

The Hatchet News | Horoscope Image

Virgo

Aug. 23-Sept. 22

Virgo, your attention to the most minute details will get the best of you this finals season. Your trivial fixations will eventually make you go insane and your friends are going to have no choice but to check you into the nearest psych ward.

The Hatchet News | Horoscope Image

Scorpio

Oct. 23-Nov. 21

Are you sure about that?

The Hatchet News | Horoscope Image

Sagittarius

Nov. 22-Dec. 21

Communication doesn’t always have to involve talking, nonverbal cues are just as important. So when you get backhanded at the bar, it's probably time to leave her alone.

The Hatchet News | Horoscope Image

Capricorn

Dec. 22-Jan. 19

This month has been hard on your love life, Capricorn. Tennyson said, it's “better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all.” And I’m sure you agree. It feels really … really great. Just the best

Note: These horoscopes are not written by a licensed astrologer. In fact, the person who wrote them has no marketable skills at all. Horoscopes are bullshit anyways.

LATEST VIDEOS

HOROSCOPES

Libra

Not getting a clear reading from the stars.. here's the weather report for this week: Saturday and Sunday will be a mix of sun and cloud, with full sun on Monday and a light rain rolling in Tuesday. Wednesday we'll see more sun and cloud with a chance of snow, heading into mainly sun on Thursday and Friday.

Aquarius

It's time to get creative about the whole "dating" thing... Online dating/Tinder? Not for you... Blind dates? Nope! Standing outside someone's window with a boombox playing Peter Gabriel songs? Cheesy! Why don't you try writing a cryptic coded letter to the cutie eyeing you in the library? Try some runic symbols, go old school!

Cancer

So.. we’ve all been talking, and.. well, I hate to be the one to tell you this .. but everyone thinks you’ve been a bit of a dick lately. Even that annoying person in your friend group that everyone pretends to like agrees. So, while the new moon will supposedly bring major change, we aren’t holding our breath.

Click For More

LATEST POLL

What should Wolfville's new name be?

Thank you! Your submission has been received!
Oops! Something went wrong while submitting the form.
Developed & Designed by De Aguiar Designs